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Abstinence Challenges Some Students, Strengthens Others
by Priyanka Lamichhane
American Word Contributing Writer

AU junior Angali Aggarwal is going to have sex on her own terms—but not yet.

“For me saving yourself for someone you love is important; it means that you have trust and patience in your relationship,” Aggarwal said. “If you know you will be with that person, then I don’t see anything wrong with being with them in any way you want.”

Aggarwal is in the minority. According to a survey done by the Centers for Disease Control, only 15 percent of women and 19 percent of men in college are virgins. However, students who decide to retain their virginity seem resolute in their decisions.

But abstinence has different meanings to different people. Some say it means not having intercourse, and others say it includes all forms of sexual activity.

Majed Sayess, an AU junior, said rules of abstinence don’t apply to oral sex.

“Abstinence means making a conscious decision to refrain from sex for whatever reason,” Sayess said. “But for me it just includes intercourse.”

Muhammed Malik, a junior, had a different opinion on the topic. “Abstinence means not engaging in activities that could result in pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases,” Malik said.

While these might be laudable ideas in theory, some students say they don’t always hold up in practice.

“I don’t believe in it, but it’s a personal choice and if you believe in it that’s great,” one female AU sophomore said. “It’s hard to stay with the decision though, especially in college.”

When another AU sophomore was asked if she believed in abstinence, she quickly responded by saying no.

“I don’t believe in it because I don’t think it’s reality,” she said. “I think you have to be a really strong person to be able to do it.”

But for those who believe in waiting, saving yourself for the right person is not as hard as it seems. These students see sex as having more than just a physical aspect to it. Sayess, for example, said he believes sex should engage people’s minds and feelings, not just their bodies.

“Making love is mental and emotional, not just physical,” Sayess said. “And if you wait to have sex with someone you’re in love with, it’s a beautiful thing.”

Although many college students engage in sexual activity, the rates of premarital sex are actually down. According to a recent article in the Journal of the American Medical Association entitled “Add Health,” the drop in sexual activity can be attributed to pledges of virginity.

Some AU students have taken a pledge of virginity and feel it is a good decision that keeps them strong. One AU junior, who wants to remain nameless, believes in abstinence and said that her choice keeps her focused.

“Abstinence is no sex before marriage, and that means a great deal to me because I practice it,” she said. “It’s hard, but it keeps me focused on school and other more important things in my life.”

Malik believes in waiting to have sex until marriage. Waiting, he said, strengthens relationships.

“It is something that you should do only after you are married,” Malik said. “That helps a relationship to last through the years.”

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